


Gizenmonogatari : Innocet's Rabbit

by Madam_Violet



Series: The Resurrection of Lungbarrow [4]
Category: Bakemonogatari, Doctor Who: Virgin New Adventures - Various Authors
Genre: But it's better to have read the Resurrection of Lungbarrow, Gen, the crossover no one asked, you don't need to know anything about Monogatari to understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:49:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madam_Violet/pseuds/Madam_Violet
Summary: "Of all the oddities I've seen in this town, there is one that still haunts me today."Oshino Meme has never seen a woman like Innocet, but he thinks he can help her anyway.In her quest to find the Doctor on Earth, Innocet encounters a certain Oshino Meme. One thing is certain, the "specialist" is one hell of a mind reader for a human being.A silly crossover I wrote after I read the first Bakemonogatari light novel. It's set during the Earth arc in my main story "the Resurrection of Lungbarrow".
Series: The Resurrection of Lungbarrow [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652503
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Gizenmonogatari : Innocet's Rabbit

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to finally finish post the Resurrection of Lungbarrow, but I'm really busy with work these days. I wrote this little crossover a few months ago. It's kind of obscure, but I'm proud of it :3.
> 
> Ginzenmonogatari means "the Hypocrite Story".

Of all the oddities I've seen in this town, there is one that still haunts me today.

She wasn't more powerful, or more terrifying that any average case. She wasn't even what I would call a case worth solving, unless of course it was a cold, rainy March Sunday and I was bored out of my wits. It wasn't a god, neither an interesting new oddity born of this woman's tragic desires. Just a plain old youkai, boring, so utterly boring.

What will haunt me for the rest of my day is a very simple question.

What the heck was this woman ?

Not who, what. What was she ?

I knew who she was, and it wasn't interesting. Even under the layers of lies and mysteries she had tried to wrap around her like an armour of shawls and rags, I could sense the meaninglessness of her life. She was playing mysterious because she had nothing to hide. She was such an ordinary one, so plain I could have crushed her out of boredom.

So what keeps Miss Yamato Nadeshiko stuck in my brain after all those years ?

I should start by the begining.

It happened like most of the cases I've helped solving in this backwater town. Araragi-kun brought her to me. Really, this young lad was such a womanizer. Anyway, I'm not sure how he had met her. Something about Mister Donut. She was still wearing her waitress uniform the day she followed him to my lair.

As soon as she set a foot inside the room, I felt a deafening burst of power. It's not like she was possessed by a powerful entity, her youkai was a pathetic thing. The raw wave of psi energy came from her. It was part of her, written in her flesh and DNA. 

She was such a boring curiosity.

"Oshino-san" Araragi greated me "I need your help again."

"Really ?" I said sadonically "Aren't Miss Tsundere and Class Prez enough for you ? Don't get too greedy, dude."

Araragi blushed and stuttered incoherent excuses. Such a dorky kid.

"I am the one who asked to meet you" the boring waitress said.

"Really ? Am I that famous ? Maybe it's time I get a change of scenery."

She turned to Araragi, visibly offended by something I had said, or done, I wasn't sure.

"You can go, now, Araragi-san. Thank you for your precious help."

"Are you sure ?" he asked "You seem upset"

"Sorry. I'm only a bit disappointed, but that doesn't mean this man won't be able to help."

"Disappointed ? I know he doesn't look like an expert at the first glance, but I promise Oshino-san isn't a sham !"

"I know" she said kindly "that's why I need to ask him some questions in private. Thank you for your help, I'll never forget what you did for me."

Araragi nodded and left the room.

"So, what's the deal, missy ?" I said, playing cool to avoid showing how terrified I was.

"I am terribly sorry" she said with a polite bow "this is an embarrassing misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding ?"

"You are not the man I am looking for."

I scratched my head.

"You mean, I don't look good enough for the job, or you were looking for a specific dirty old guy in a Hawaiian shirt who happens not to be me ?"

"I must admit you matched the description. But maybe you can help me finding him."

I scoffed.

"I am no gumshoe private ma'am. But I can help you with your youkai issue, I can even make you a price. Friend of a friend, yada yada."

She frowned.

"Youkai issue ?"

"Yeah, isn't that the point of your visit ? Or maybe you are fine with it and it's your choice. Who am I to judge ?"

She nodded and made a few steps in my direction. She was kind of pretty, despite being as interesting as a plate of white rice. Soft feminine face, definitively not Japanese. She was still perfectly articulate, with a slight Kyoto accent, so I assumed she was probably born there, of foreigner parents. She was wearing a staff badge.

"Is that your name written on this ?"

"It is" 

I grunted.

"What's wrong with it ?" she asked.

"I don't trust katakana characters, they don't tell you anything. Plain noise, that's all they are."

"I suppose you are right" she said humbly.

"You have an interesting name, though. Maybe the gods gave you some redeeming qualities beside your perfectly boring face."

She didn't react. Too bad, I would have loved to see her break her character a little. There is no trope I despise more than the Yamato Nadeshiko one. Utterly boring.

"Innocet."

"That's my name"

"No last name ?"

"None of your business."

"I don't really care, Innocet is enough for me."

I jumped on the floor and grabbed an old piece of chalk from under a desk. Right after that, I had written her name in big, wide latin letters on the black board.

"From latin 'innocens', or 'non noisens'. In other words, "the one who doesn't know". But is it true ?"

"What ?" she asked, mildly irritated.

"That you don't know."

She sighed.

"You are even more irritating than him."

"The man you are looking for ?"

"Yes. He calls himself the Doctor. I suppose he's kind of a specialist, that's why I thought you might know him."

"The Doctor" I feigned to think of it, revelling in Innocet's hopeful eyes. "Nah, never heard of him."

She sighed.

"I am not surprised. I guess I'll leave you to your litterary musings."

She bowed and walked to the door.

"Good luck, then, little miss Alice."

Innocet stiffened and turned on her heels.

"How did you call me ?"

I let out a heartly laught.

"I called you 'Alice'. Suiting isn't it ? A little Victorian brat running after a white rabbit, hiding herself under the ground to ignore her problems."

I snickered triumphally as my guest finally broke her emotionless façade. Hands curled in thight fists, she looked at me with eyes that could kill.

"What do you know about me ?" she asked.

"Not that much, actually. Except that you look European but have probably never been there, and your name is a lie you are trying too hard to turn into a truth. And you have a youkai issue that apparently is not an issue. Unless it's another lie you tell yourself. Innocet. The one who doesn't know. Or should I say, the one who doesn't want to know ?"

She frowned.

"You say a lot of truths, for someone who just met me minutes ago."

"That's my job to say the truth, missy."

She bit her lip.

"You talked about a youkai issue, but is it still a youkai if it doesn't come from Japan ?"

"The place of origin doesn't matter,a Youkai is a Youkai. Where does this thing even come from ?"

"Gallifrey."

"Never heard of it. Not that I care, of course. Yours is a pretty basic oddity, and you could easily get rid of it, if you wanted to."

"How ?"

I came closer to her, close enough to make her step back, and I blew a puff of my cigarette smoke on her face. She snatched it and broke it in two.

"Don't you think your kind is short-lived enough without inflicting that on yourself ?" she scolded me.

I could feel her heartbeat going faster with anger. Her double heartbeat, like an echo in her chest. Interesting.

"You see, Rabbits aren't confrontational creatures."

"Rabbits ?"

"Yeah, White Rabbits, like the one you followed from... Gallifrey you said ? All you need to do is to stop following it and wake up."

"It's not that simple, not when the Rabbit is holding the keys of my ship."

"Don't be silly, little miss Alice. A Rabbit cannot hold a key, unless you've put it around its neck yourself."

Innocet nodded.

"I suppose you are right."

"But how did you meet the Rabbit ?"

"I cannot tell you."

"And why did you follow it ?"

"I didn't follow her. She kidnapped me."

I shook my head.

"Do you always put the fault on the others ?" 

"I have enough with my own burdens."

"Let me guess, you make up your own burdens and you chose to wear them as accessories so poeple look at you and say 'oh, look how brave this girl is". No, this is not who you are. You make up your own burdens for yourself. To convince yourself you are a martyr. You know, the more I get to know you, the less I want to help."

This time it was her time to laugh at me. The nerves, really !

"Listen to yourself, making all your little theories."

She was sitting next to me on a table, now. Equal to equal.

"Am I wrong, though ?"

"No" she admitted. "Go on, please."

"With pleasure. So you followed this White Rabbit underground, you got deeper and deeper in its galleries and now you won't stop following it because you think you're going to get lost."

"That's a way to see it" she conceeded "Actually, you are really spot-on."

"This is all rubbish ! You can't get lost inside a rabbit hole."

"Because I'm too big to get inside ?"

I laughed at her childish answer.

"Because there is only one issue. If you dig up, you'll end up finding the light. Sure, digging is more tiresome than following the rabbit. But let me tell you something : the rabbit only goes down. How far do you want to go ? Far enough to forget the color of the sky ?"

She shook her head, visibly very upset by what I was saying.

"Now, what about this man. Who is he ? A past lover ?"

"No, he's my Cousin."

"And what do you need him for ?"

She hummed softly, her eyes stuck on the grimy ceiling.

"I made a promise."

"To whom ?"

"To the Rabbit. She promised to set me free when I find the Doctor for her."

"And you accepted ? Is it out of kindness for the Rabbit, or out of spite against your Cousin ?"

"Both, I guess" Innocet admitted. "He deserves to know his actions have consequences."

I tutted.

"And what about your own actions ?"

"I face the consequences."

"Do you ? Or do you blame others for your mistakes and weave yourself weighless burdens for the illusion ?"

Innocet bowed her head.

"I'll make things right this time. For my Cousin, for the Rabbit, and for the rest of my Family."

"How do you plan to make thing better ?" I asked genuinely.

"For now, I'll keep following the Rabbit. I lied to you when I said she had kidnapped me. I followed her on my own will, because I wanted to know."

"What did you want to know ?"

"Something I forgot, something very important."

"Something only the Rabbit can find, buried too deep for you."

"Exactly !" she exclaimed.

"And then ? Will you keep your part of the deal, or will you betray this White Rabbit."

"I'll let the Doctor save us both."

I rolled my eyes.

"You really are a despicable person, Innocet."

She laughed softly.

"I know. Some would say it's a Family trait."

She jumped on her feet and walked to the exit.

"Thank you for the chat, Mr Oshino. I hope I'll be able to repay you some day."

"No prob" I said "Just a little question."

"Go on."

"Where on Earth is Gallifrey ?"

She let out a childish giggle and left the building, leaving me in the dark forever.

Really, what a despictable woman.


End file.
